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by Lindsey McDonald (exgoldenboy)
at April 28th, 2007 (09:11 pm)


His demon cringed inside at the yell, the fact he made him yell, the rest of him aching at the hollowness in Spike's voice, the tired sigh.

Swallowed, crawling slowly over to the end of the bed and pressing his chest against his sire's back. Rested his chin over his shoulder, throat tight.

"Never been Angel's, never will be. Always yours, only yours."

Rubbed his cheek against Spike's, arms wrapping around his waist from behind. "I'm sorry, I just.. I wish you had never let me go back."

Comments

Posted by: bloodyironspike (bloodyironspike)
Posted at: April 29th, 2007 01:26 am (UTC)
Mood Lighting

Spike's hand moved up to rub along Lindsey's arms, face still distant. "Only because I made you."

"Should have known you weren't his. He'd never pick anyone with a brain. Or a sense of fun."

He snorted at the last, shaking his head. "If there's anything I could tell about you straight off, it would be you always get your way. God help the one who gets in the way of Lindsey McDonald." He turned his head in Lindsey's direction. "It ripped me in half to let you, but it was what you wanted." He swallowed.

"Can't deny you anything."

Posted by: Lindsey McDonald (exgoldenboy)
Posted at: April 29th, 2007 01:34 am (UTC)

His face went helpless, pained, lashes sheilding his eyes.

Didn't know what else to say to try and heal this rift he'd caused with childish words.

Pressed in closer, cheek resting on the curve of Spike's neck, throat tight and aching. "I didn't know what I wanted."

"Hate going back there, hate leaving, it hurts."

Posted by: bloodyironspike (bloodyironspike)
Posted at: April 29th, 2007 01:45 am (UTC)
Talking

"I know, pet. Just thinking about you there, what they did to you, makes me want to shred Angel and those friends of yours to shreds." He felt the tension in Lindsey at that and he squeezed the arm under his hand. "No worries, pet. They'll be fine."

He turned and looked at Lindsey, eyes searching. "You really are my childe, aren't you?" The realization hit him right between the eyes. "All that humanity swirling in you, making you give a piss about them."

Angelus and the women had never understood why he'd turned his mother, why he loved and felt so fully. Darla had said Dru didn't do a good job turning him, had somehow kept more of his humanity intact. None of the other ever cared about their loved ones once they had turned.

But the first thing Lindsey had thought of was the ones who saved him when he was down. His loved ones.

Cupped the back of Lindsey's neck, tilting his head. "You have to make the choice, pet. You're going to have to leave one day. But maybe you can make sure that your Watcher friend and the others won't come to stake you. Can salvage what you have."

His face was sad, honest. "But sooner or later, you'll have to let them go."

Posted by: Lindsey McDonald (exgoldenboy)
Posted at: April 29th, 2007 01:57 am (UTC)

He closed his eyes, pained, before letting them slide open, catching his sire's again.

Swallowed, lips quirking wryly.

"I was never meant to be one of them. The good guys? Don't know who I was kidding."

He'd just.. wanted so very badly to belong. Be a part of something good, right, for once in his life.

Posted by: bloodyironspike (bloodyironspike)
Posted at: April 29th, 2007 02:04 am (UTC)

Spike snickered and cupped his face, shaking his head. "They did right by you. At least when they could. Know Angel isn't the one to cross when he gets something in that thick head of his." The image of him chained made his eyes flash, but they dulled quickly.

His tone became quiet, serious. "I'll take you away when you're ready. You can watch out for them if you want, drop a line here and there. Can even stay here for a spell." He shook his head. "Doubt Angel would come looking for us so close to his little fortress."

Buying potions to mask their trail was simple, he could easily pick those things up tomorrow before he went to get Lindsey. Would give them time to devise what to do.

"Whatever you wish, luv. It's yours."

Posted by: Lindsey McDonald (exgoldenboy)
Posted at: April 29th, 2007 02:17 am (UTC)

He sighed, rubbing his chin back and forth on Spike's shoulder. Smiled faintly.

"All I want is you."

Thought a moment, head tilting. "I like it here, I don't want to leave it yet." It was starting to feel like home, though they hadn't been there long at all. But it was the first place besides a hotel room that was theirs and he had a fondness for it.

Was as close as he could come at the moment without pleading not to go back.

Posted by: bloodyironspike (bloodyironspike)
Posted at: April 29th, 2007 02:31 am (UTC)

Spike nodded, trying not to let his heart leap in his chest. "You'd have to go back tonight, but just tonight. I don't have the time to get what I need to make sure Angel doesn't sniff us out and come a'knocking."

He ran his hand down his childe's strong arm, holding him securely. "How is it that you seem to be comforting me. Thought it was the other way around."

Looked over his shoulder again. "Can you do another day without me, pet?"

Posted by: Lindsey McDonald (exgoldenboy)
Posted at: May 2nd, 2007 04:26 pm (UTC)

He swallowed back the protest, though the near desperate clenching of his hands at the front of his sire's chest gave him away. Slowly eased his grip, forcing himself to nod.

Somehow it was so much worse going back there knowing he'd have him free and clear, forever, tomorrow night. Unless something bad happened.

He also didn't know if he could pull off not letting the others know something was going on, he really was going to miss them. The way things used to be. They'd given him a chance, the only one he'd had his whole life to belong to something like that. Then even after he'd fallen, they still trusted him enough to keep him around.

Couldn't help but feel he'd let them down before and was betraying them now.

Finally sighed out a slow breath, nodding again. Meeting those intense eyes.

"Yeah, I'll be okay."

Posted by: bloodyironspike (bloodyironspike)
Posted at: May 2nd, 2007 05:42 pm (UTC)

His heart broke for Lindsey, knowing what it was like to feel that much for the people he left behind. "I know it will be hard, pet. But I need to set some things in motion, make sure Angel can't come stake us while we sleep."

Cupped one side of that gorgeous, strong jaw, smiling carefully. "They are good friends to you for your stubborn ass to worry so much about them. If they're friends worth keeping, they'll hopefully still be there for you when you need them to be."

Something told Spike that they wouldn't let Angel kill Lindsey, maybe not outright stop him with force, but in sly, underhanded ways to throw the man off. That cheerleader and the scone had good brains in there, despite their personalities.

They'd still be around, could maybe try to work out a meeting or two, put their minds at ease.

Posted by: Lindsey McDonald (exgoldenboy)
Posted at: July 14th, 2007 12:16 am (UTC)

He leaned further into Spike's strong back, face rubbing against the hand cupping his jaw with a slow smile back. Swallowing back all his fears, insecurities.

It would all be alright because Spike wouldn't have it any other way.

His hands unclenched, petting slowly down the front of his sire's chest, tilting his head to press a soft kiss on his palm.

"If they aren't, I'll still have you. And that's more than worth the risk."

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